I think the most important thing for all of us to remember about the entire experience is that for one night and part of a day all of us came together to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. We teamed up and had fun with people who may not be our best friends, but who know what it means to be a GEMS girl. And for that, I am always honored to be a small part of this GEMS experience!

Good luck to you, Therese as you move on to high school! We were so happy to have you at the retreat with us.

As always, please remember that the GEMS program was designed to help our girls navigate through relational aggression and other social issues of adolescence. ALWAYS listen to your girls (and boys) and take what they are saying seriously. We are the trusted adults in their lives. If they choose to come to us with a problem, then it is our duty to validate their feelings and ensure that they are safe.

Phoebe Prince’s Suicide

Unfortunately, relational aggression is often overlooked by teachers, parents, coaches, and other adults because it doesn’t always leave physical wounds. However, the emotional damage it causes lasts a lifetime - or in some cases, like that of Phoebe Prince, can end a life.

Let’s review. A friend is a person who accepts you for who you are. They may not always agree with every decision you make, but you can talk out these disaggreements. A friend will NEVER say or do anything to intentionally exclude you, make fun of you, or hurt you. If any person is making you feel bad about yourself or like you don’t have a right to belong to something, then you need to make some changes.

1.) If you feel comfortable, you may approach the person individually (one-on-one) and try to find out what the problem is by discussing how you feel when they say or do the mean thing that they are doing.
This is not an opportunity for you start yelling or accusing this person. If you feel you cannot approach this person in a calm manner (or vice versa), then this is not an option.
2.) Confide in a friend who is NOT involved in the problem. Ask them for advice or simply support. For example maybe this person can be the person you sit with at lunch now or partner up with in phys. ed. class.
3.) If this situation is interfering with your day-to-day activities, like participating in class, changing for phys. ed., playing a sport, or eating lunch in the cafeteria, then you need to go to a trusted adult.

Finally, as hard as it sometimes is to realize, sometimes that person who we so desperately want to be friends with is just not worth it! I encourage to look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I’m an amazing person who deserves amazing friends who love me for who I am.” Seriously girls, maybe this month is the time for you to “march” on past those so-called “friends” and find the person or group of people who lift you up, support you, stand by you, and allow you to be yourself.