Hi girls,

I decided to take January off from posting to really think about what I can post on this website to get some responses and then it hit me: boys. How appropriate it is that Valentine’s Day is in February since this post is going to be about relationships.

Lately in my GEMS sessions many of you have come to discuss issues you are having with boys. Boys not treating you/your friends well; boys pressuring you/your friends into sexual activity; boys being bullies; boys breaking your/your friend’s hearts. It was starting to make me sad. I thought that maybe GEMS was becoming more about love advice than about empowering you all to be strong women.

Then I realized that boys are a part of your lives and that if GEMS is going to be a responsible program providing you with the tools you need to be successful young women, then we have to include boys.

So here we are with this February’s post tacking the issue of boys.

First of all something that just keeps coming up all over the media is sexting. You all tell me about texts that have been forwarded about you or your friends that may be lies or have done harm to reputations. I think we need to be aware of how harmful any texting or sexting can be so I’ve included a link to a CBS newstory and CNN news story on the problem. If you google “sexting” you’ll come up with many stories like these of the harm that sexting can and does do to teens. I cannot stress enough to you girls that anything you send whether it’s a picture or message in a text or on the internet can potentially haunt/hurt you for the rest of your life.

Second, there seems to be a lot of talk about the peer pressure to become sexually active. I encourage all of you to join the Resistance Team sponsored by Project Keepsake. It’s a great way to get support and stay strong in your desire to remain abstinent. Also, please check out the website for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. If you don’t feel like navigating through all the amazing information they have to offer I will suggest the article called “That’s What He Said” which surveyed 1,200 boys/men ages 15 to 22. I think you’ll find the results interesting and surprising.

Third, girls although I do remember my junior high and high school crushes, boyfriends, and everything in between that is not what stays with me now. I have to stress to you that it’s the memories of my friends that I treasure the most. The friends who giggled with me when those boys called or dried my tears when they didn’t and they broke my heart. Those are the friends that I still talk to today - NOT THE BOYS! I know that it’s important for you to be acknowledged by that certain someone and maybe he turns out to be an amazing guy, but don’t forget your friends. Trust their advice - they usually have your best interests at heart. Also, be there for each other when boys get in the way. Stand up with your friend at a party when she decides to leave because she doesn’t agree with what’s going on. Stick by her when she’s crying over a boy (even if you told her he’d break her heart). 

GEMS girls to need to be there for each other always. We need to help one another be strong and protect the GEM in each of us. Trust your instincts and rely on your friends when you can’t do it alone.

Hi Girls! I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday. For December I’m curious: what books do you like to read? I mean, what stories, authors, series, are you interested in and WHY? Do the books you read really apply to what you’re going through in your life right now, or are they more of an escape into another reality for you? If you don’t read, why not? I really would appreciate your comments. I’ve also added some links to several books that I have enjoyed and think you may find interesting, too. So check them out and then go to your local library and READ!

Please Stop Laughing at Me and It’s Not Just Joking Around by Jodee Blanco

Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Uglies, Pretties, Specials, Extras by Scott Westerfeld

For more information on what books are out there visit teenreads.com and don’t forget to share what you’re reading.

Hi Girls,

This month it’s always customary to reflect on all of our blessing: family, friends, safety, our country, etc. I think we should all post someone or something we are feeling thankful for on our site. Won’t it be amazing to see all the blessings that we GEMS girls have?

Also, does your school or family do anything kind of charitable act to help those less fortunate in your community? Tell us about it. Maybe we can be inspired by each other and start being more selfless!

The 7th Grade GEMS girls performed skits to show that they know the difference between Conformity and Community, Manipulation and Respect, and Phoniness and Genuineness.  We have had great discussions the past two sessions about these words and what they mean. The girls then took their knowledge and created skits to illustrate these differences.  They did an excellent job!  I am very proud of these girls.

It’s official: the Newbury girls are now GEMS!! We are so excited for Principal Miller and her girls to be a part of what we think is an amazing program. This spring we will be getting the Newbury GEMS girls and St. Greg’s GEMS girls together to share their experiences, issues, and successes. We can’t wait. Stay tuned for more updates on all of our GEMS groups: St. Greg’s (South Euclid, OH) Newbury High School (Newbury, Oh) and John Paul I School (Montreal, Canada)

There is a definite process to creating a beautiful and valuable gemstone. It can involve lots of heat, pressure, and chipping/cutting the stone until it begins to sparkle and shine. Then a jeweler determines the value or worth of each gemstone based it’s BEAUTY, DURABILITY, and RARITY.

 We are all like these gemstones that the are put under tremendous heat and pressure, then chipped or cut down to create beautiful earrings, necklaces, rings, and other pieces of jewelry that we buy. However, when we are looking in the mirror trying to determine our own value, I think that we focus too much on the BEAUTY. We ignore the DURABILTY and RARITY. True beauty is a part of what makes any gemstone valuable, but what about it’s durabilty or rarity? Aren’t those just as important? Shouldn’t we give ourselves credit for all of the other amazing qualities we possess in addition to our outer beauty?

The Dove company has been working to help girls realize their true beauty. I think the following clip from Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty really helps to put in perspective how crazy our standards are when it comes to outward appearances. We pick up a magazine, watch a commercial, or see a movie and look at these beautiful people and think “Why don’t I look like that?”  Then we go on crazy diets or try different hairstyles, make-ups, clothes, exercise routines to try to get our physical appearance to match what we see in the media. But what about those models or actors is real? What is durable or rare in them? 

In the eyes of a jeweler beauty only adds 1/3 to the value of a gemstone. If it is not durable or rare, then it is not worth much. The same holds true for us. If we cannot stand up for ourselves and what is right; if we give in to peer pressure, then how are we durable? We need to stand strong in our beliefs and remain to true to ourselve. If we try to look like the models and actors we see in the media, then what makes us rare? We need to look at our outer appearance and realize that being “flawed” is what makes us unique. I think we should all be a little more like the jeweler when trying to appraise ourselves and stop focusing so much on outward beauty and concentrate more on inner strength and uniqueness.

Hi Girls and welcome back to GEMS!! I hope you all enjoyed your summer vacation. I’d like to say a special welcome to our newest GEMS girls at Newbury High School in Ohio and John Paul II School in Canada, we are so excited to have you! As always we have to say thank you to our returning GEMS girls at St. Greg’s as well as our new girls in grade 6. We love your continued enthusiasm and pride you have in “GEMifying” yourselves.

For the month of September I wanted to talk a little bit about positive thinking and the power it can have to change our lives. Many times we find ourselves in negative situations where circumstances are out of our control. For example, a friend has suddenly decided to stop hanging out with us or maybe we didn’t make the “A” team for our favorite sport. Regardless of the situation and circumstances, how we respond/react is always within our control.

By taking control of ourselves we can ultimately change how a situation effects us. Staying positive helps us continue to build our self-esteem as we work on improving the situation. So how do we do this? Well, those of you who have gone through Year 1 GEMS learned about changing your negative thoughts into positive ones. But for those of you have not learned this yet, or just need a reminder, here are some tips for positive thinking.

1.) Always remember that in any situation the only person you can change is yourself.

2.)  Force yourself to look in the mirror EVERYDAY and say something positive about yourself (out loud)!

3.) Take any negative thoughts you may have and change them into POSITIVES.  For example, if you think, “I am terrible at volleyball since I didn’t make the ‘A’ team this year.” Change it into something like, “I am excited to be a starter on the ‘B’ team.”

4.) Surround yourself with friends who pick you up and support you.

5.) Remember that every day is a new opportunity to take control of your life, don’t give up hope!!

And finally, SMILE! Smiling physically can help you to smile emotionally. People will react more openly to you if you are smiling at them and you feel better when they do!

Good luck this year. Keep posting on our website and checking pictures out on our Facebook site.

We are so excited to announce that the GEMS program will now be at Newbury School. On Friday August 7th Mrs. Ball and I met with Principal Judy Miller of Newbury Jr. and Sr. High School. She is going to start GEMS with her 7th grade girls.

 Keep checking out our website to see how the Newbury girls, the St. John Paul II girls, as well as our St. Greg’s GEMS girls do this year. We will be posting our monthly discussion topics for everyone to comment on. We look forward to hearing from you!

Hi all,

I just wanted to let you know that we are working with the new t-shirt design company, Project 13 Designs to create GEMS t-shirts. A small logo with our web address will be on the front in the upper lefthand corner and a bigger logo with our motto will be on the back in the center. The t-shirts will be $14 + shipping. We’re working on a mock up right now and as soon as we get it, I will post it for you to see. I can’t wait!

Attention GEMS girls, our SPIRIT pals up north have their own website and program that they do to help girls navigate through relational aggression and all the other issues that girls face in adolescence. We are hoping to write to them when the school year begins to partner up and deal with these issues together. Keep checking out our website and Facebook pages for updates!