Hi girls,

I decided to take January off from posting to really think about what I can post on this website to get some responses and then it hit me: boys. How appropriate it is that Valentine’s Day is in February since this post is going to be about relationships.

Lately in my GEMS sessions many of you have come to discuss issues you are having with boys. Boys not treating you/your friends well; boys pressuring you/your friends into sexual activity; boys being bullies; boys breaking your/your friend’s hearts. It was starting to make me sad. I thought that maybe GEMS was becoming more about love advice than about empowering you all to be strong women.

Then I realized that boys are a part of your lives and that if GEMS is going to be a responsible program providing you with the tools you need to be successful young women, then we have to include boys.

So here we are with this February’s post tacking the issue of boys.

First of all something that just keeps coming up all over the media is sexting. You all tell me about texts that have been forwarded about you or your friends that may be lies or have done harm to reputations. I think we need to be aware of how harmful any texting or sexting can be so I’ve included a link to a CBS newstory and CNN news story on the problem. If you google “sexting” you’ll come up with many stories like these of the harm that sexting can and does do to teens. I cannot stress enough to you girls that anything you send whether it’s a picture or message in a text or on the internet can potentially haunt/hurt you for the rest of your life.

Second, there seems to be a lot of talk about the peer pressure to become sexually active. I encourage all of you to join the Resistance Team sponsored by Project Keepsake. It’s a great way to get support and stay strong in your desire to remain abstinent. Also, please check out the website for the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy. If you don’t feel like navigating through all the amazing information they have to offer I will suggest the article called “That’s What He Said” which surveyed 1,200 boys/men ages 15 to 22. I think you’ll find the results interesting and surprising.

Third, girls although I do remember my junior high and high school crushes, boyfriends, and everything in between that is not what stays with me now. I have to stress to you that it’s the memories of my friends that I treasure the most. The friends who giggled with me when those boys called or dried my tears when they didn’t and they broke my heart. Those are the friends that I still talk to today - NOT THE BOYS! I know that it’s important for you to be acknowledged by that certain someone and maybe he turns out to be an amazing guy, but don’t forget your friends. Trust their advice - they usually have your best interests at heart. Also, be there for each other when boys get in the way. Stand up with your friend at a party when she decides to leave because she doesn’t agree with what’s going on. Stick by her when she’s crying over a boy (even if you told her he’d break her heart). 

GEMS girls to need to be there for each other always. We need to help one another be strong and protect the GEM in each of us. Trust your instincts and rely on your friends when you can’t do it alone.