Last month we asked the GEMS girls for their thoughts on how parents could keep the lines of communication open. We received some good advice and welcome more, but good communication is a two-way street. At the very time when your daughters need you most, it often becomes increasingly difficult to talk with them. The little girl who once told you everything, sometimes in frustratingly minute detail, may now only mumble a response to your question, “So, what is going on?” before angrily stomping off to her room when pressed for more. What can parents do? One of our favorite books is Rosalind Wiseman’s Queen Bees and Wannabes. Wiseman offers practical insights ”so parents can better understand and help their daughters navigate through these crucial years.” She reminds her readers that when parents are pushed from their daughters’ lives, there is “even more space for the bad influence.” It is often up to parents to maintain that important relationship with their daughters, but sometimes, it seems almost impossible! As the mother of two now grown daughters, I know it is worth the perseverance and patience required to see them through adolescence. We made it through those difficult years, and I am grateful to have them as my friends now too! So what works? Maybe you remember what worked for you and your parents. We would love to hear what you think and would appreciate any comments.
Parents - Your Communication Advice is Needed.
February 27th, 2009 · 3 Comments · Monthly Discussion Topics
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3 responses so far ↓
1 Berta // Mar 10, 2009 at 4:57 pm
We have three now adult women daughters. When they were in their teens my husband and I always volunteered to be the drivers to and from birthday parties and other events. This way we got to meet the other children’s parents when we picked them up or dropped them off. We also were able to get to know the other kids and observe how the girls interacted with specific individuals. While they were in the car with the other kids, sometimes it was almost as if we were a fly on the wall. Another nice benefit was that driving also meant time together-being “trapped” often resulted in some good conversations- a negotiation over the radio station often resulted in a discussion of the song, etc, etc.! I miss those days!
2 Lauren Meek // Mar 11, 2009 at 6:19 am
I agree! My dad always picked up my friends and me from parties and dances. I was always telling him all that had gone on and he would get to talk with my friends as well.
3 Nancy Ball // Mar 11, 2009 at 9:27 am
Me too! I remember feeling so sad when my days of driving Carolyn, Samantha (and Justin too) to and from practices, games, dances, etc. were over. I was involved in lots of good conversation, plus their friends got to know me just as I got to know them. I worry today that kids often just text or parents talk on their cells, and the intimate car conversation is a missed opportunity.
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